Oh yeah why bother

Dear blog,

Its about time. I must apologize for neglecting you.

So much for studying during the one week school holiday when i totally flunked most subjects. Oh and fyi, still trying to get over this depressing illness i have. The mucus just wouldn't leave me. Help?

I hadn't been spending much time with twitter nor tumblr neither. I'm always thinking bout you no worries. *hugs*

I guess it's just gonna be a whole new different thing again now. Time is getting a lil mean now and my final exam is like at the tip of my fingers. I'm afraid yet not giving a shite at the same time. What am i suppose to do?

Obviously i won't be doing anything about it -.-

A day from now it's gonna be Chinese New Year.

Yes CNY! New clothings, not new but more food, more money coming in yet going out at the same time but not much of my problem :P Thats what cny is all about eh? Money and food. I dunno. And an advantage for school holidays!

A week from now i'll have to start being serious about the whole point i'm in form6 for.

I should have been intense about it ever since i started form6 year. But guess i didn't really care much.. and i don't think i ever will be. I just can't. How the heck did i bury my minds in those books right then when i was in elementary and form3? Shite. I totally screw myself this time. The more older i get the more immature i'm becoming. Does it even makes sense? Yes it does. It's Isabel Florence Ngui i'm talking about. She's by far the only human being i know who just doesn't bother much about anything she's not keen of. Hmm maybe not :P

Exactly 2 weeks from now Jude will have to leave here again, i'm not sure if i can take it this time.

Oh God, i can! I think.

I would be a sad excuse for a tough inner girl! Or should i say woman.

He had his summer holidays ever since December last year, it sounded short but it sorta felt long. And it actually felt like he had never left to Miri in the first place. But come on, back to reality lady, he's going back there. To that desolated city. But it would be nice to backpack my way there one day :D I'll just have to strive through piles of books and researches and exams and then au revoir school, hello erm no school :D and Jude! as the saying goes, love has no distance. (Sentence i picked from AJ Rafael's she was mine since i'm listening to it ohoho might as well i list down the whole lyric here)

And exactly a month from today i'll be sitting for my MUET speaking exam oh great I. WILL. DAI. Being in the same group with Bill and Daniel its gonna be tough. And when i mean tough i MEAN it. Why did i wanna get involved in the 1st place *facepalm* It's not that they're lousy and all but they're too GOOD you know? What if i'm the one who's gonna flunk in it in the end -.-

So probably after minutes of awkward uhms and ahhs during the exam (I CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT MOMENT) it's gonna be a huge relief then. I LOVE RELIEFS. But yeah, thats a really stupid thing to say. Loving reliefs are like asking for a gay to smack you in the face with his/her prada. I dunno, it's not bad is it? I'm just saying i'm loving feeling glad. Like rainbows after thunderstorms. Or smiles after cries. Babies after.. okay let's not get there.

And one year later, i dunno what i'll be doing then. Probably just waiting for my results while working part time. Thats about it. No holiday trips, no summer vacation (it either rain or shine, if not maybe world climax since its the 2012 anyway), no nothing. Maybe something, i'll think about it then.

Its alot to think about. I could have thought about it just 30 days ago. But nooooo, i wanna decide on it today. Sometimes, better off just not hang on my words for it. Can't assure it would be something good.

For now it's war.

Ps : No assurance that i would bother completely anyway.